My adoption timeline:
Years ago
Years ago I met a single woman in her 40's at an Easter lunch. She had recently returned form China with her young daughter. I had heard of international adoption and of the situation for many girls in China, but this was the first time I had met someone who had taken the step and become a mother by adopting a Chinese girl. I was fascinated by the girl, the process, and by how Mom was relaxed and proud and much like any other mother I had met. I left the lunch that day and tucked the experience in the back of my mind somewhere. I said I would do that after I'd met someone, married, had a few of our own...then the time would be right. Well, as my life can attest to, sometimes life doesn't work out the way we plan.
So, still single, reaching the age of 40 I began thinking about having children. The family I met at Easter years before kept coming to mind. I knew that I could try to have a child, but the scare of birth defects and the fact that there were waiting children, already made, out there ready for a family swayed me toward adoption.
Sometime in 2004
My thoughts of adopting become more real. I actually began to think that it was something I could do. I freaked out at times about being a single mom, about the incredible change it would make on my carefree lifestyle (in fact, I still do), but ultimately I knew I wanted to be a mom. I talked to my mom about it, she being the pragmatic and hopeful one, was of course concerned about my single status, and the fact that I live 750 miles from her. She did say that she thought it would be difficult, but that I would be a good mom. (and, so much better for everyone if I would just move back home)
That short conversation is one that I revisit often. December 23,2004 my mother passed away unexpectedly - the light in my life was put out for a while.
Spring 2005
The early months of 2005 are a blur. Greiving is very hard work and long (and not over yet).
By spring the incredible fog that had engulfed my brain had lifted enough that I could think beyond the beyond basics of food work adn sleep and could start to hope for things in my life. I began to think of a daughter again. CCAI - a local agency - was called, and mild apprehension surrounded me - should I or shouldn't I... I eventually decided that I would throw my hat in the ring at the next opportunity. CCAI does a lottery for applications from single women in January (China will allow agencies only 8% of their adoptions to singles)
January 2006
The holidays and anniversary of my mother's death put me in a fog again for a while. Around Jan. 10th I remembered to check CCAI's website and I immediately saw that they were taking single applications until Jan 17 with a lottery drawing on Jan 18. If I could get the application together in time I would know in a week if I was accepted. Luckily the application is easy - the only special paperwork was a letter from my nurse practitioner saying I was healthy and could care for a child.
January 18
My application was accepted!
January 27
CCAI held an orientation for the local single women whose applications had been accepted. My introduction to the incredible paperwork process.
January 30
My lovely sister wants to do her part, so she gets certified copies of my birth certificate, saving me several days in the process! I also love the fact that she want to help.
February 1
My home study begins with the amazing KellyP - my social worker.
Feb 6
physical done - I love my NP
March 2
completed = notarized, certified & authenticated dossier received at CCAI
March 10
completed home study arrives at CCAI. Then the wait for the I-171 some important paperwork that allows me to bring my girl to the US
March 13
Fingerprints done
April 18
I-171 arrives in the mail and I immediately go to CCAI for notarization, the state of colorado office for certification and to the post office to mail it to the consulate in Chicago.
April 22
completed I-171 arrives at CCAI and dossier goes to critical review and translation.
April 26
e-mail from CCAI stating the 1st week of may is a major holiday in China and that CCAA will be closed for the week. So rather than mail my dossier to China and risk it sitting somewhere and getting lost, they decide it's beter to wait to mail it (DTC-dossier to China)
May 4
DTC date (date dossier mailed to China)
May 16, 2006
LID (log-in-date) This is the important number in regards to my wait. This is the date that CCAA (China center of adoption afairs) goes by to match me with my daughter (referral)
Now
the wait.....
1 comment:
goodluck with the adoption waiting game. I look forward to seeing your chinese girl on post!
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